Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
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