i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
