You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
