i barfeds in our rink
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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