Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
So much Jack, so little girl.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
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