I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Randomize
