That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
