Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
