i just had sex bonerless
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
