So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
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