fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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