nut hugger
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
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