Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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