i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
she told me i tasted like america
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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