just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
