I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
