so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
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