Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
