I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
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