is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Randomize
