So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
So much Jack, so little girl.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
