I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
