happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
