Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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