She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
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