we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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