is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize