At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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