I'm sorry my penis didn't work
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Verdict: uncircumcised.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
