She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
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