so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
