just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
