I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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