Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Randomize
