i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
