I checked into jail on foursquare
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I have peed in a lot of sinks
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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