honey bunches of taint.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
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