I wish i was in the wii world.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
