yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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