I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
