i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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