I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Randomize
