he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Screwed.edu
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
