when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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