About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Fuck appropriateness.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
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