some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
if only i could text you this smell
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I think I have vodka in my lungs
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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