He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
