What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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