so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize
