Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
