So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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