So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Randomize
