just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
