Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
is wine microwaveable?
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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