I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize