respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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