Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
