Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
