Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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