Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
