before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
