I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
