Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
