Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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