Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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