I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
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Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
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If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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